Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Leaving The Company

I really wish people would accept my decision and understand that it hurts so much that I have to come to this decision.

I left a company, but my former friends made it sound like I quit friendship and have betrayed them.



Videos used to be about PASSION. Real passion. Jianhao used to stay up late with me. We script together, when we had no office. Asking a piece of paper and pen from McDonalds, I will spam all my crazy ideas and he will filter according to feasibility. We will take turns to edit, wake up together, sleep together, eat together, I saw him grow.

Yes, I saw him grew from nothing to something. Though everyone thinks "you are famous because of Jianhao". But nobody knows, I put him first. He was my idol. I will not talk back, or talk bad behind him. Everything he does is right, and I would try to insert his name in my newspaper articles when I was soaring in my Ah Boys To Men journey.  Yes, the good articles, before the bad ones were made.

I left cause I was not earning much. Barely enough. Overworked. And I thought my friends respected my decision of leaving, so I can sort things out on running my responsibilities at home. I need to take care of my sick mom and 4 younger siblings who are in school. Everyone thinks I am famous, means I am rich. I am not famous. I am known a little for my work, my entertainment online, and I am not rich. Neither was I making ends meet. I remember, when I was working as a waiter, I can earn more, and see my mom, but not when I was with THEJIANHAOTANCO. I helped to build that company, with my barehands, maybe not my money, but my sweat and tears and blood. And after a year, I decided to leave.

"You can come back, if you think this decision to leave was a bad idea.."

Next thing you know, the place I sleep, was cleaned away. I slept in that small room for 3 hours on average a day. Yes, I was lacking of sleep. I could pause my work after 9pm, but by then my mom would be asleep, so I was lucky to have a girlfriend, to remind myself, "hey, I have a life, other than work, work, work".

My items were returned partially, there are alot more items not returned, I guess they are keeping it for props. And I just felt sad. They have to rush the fact, to share the fact, that I left. When Naomi left, there was like a chill period. Nobody gives insensitive remarks. Jianhao reminded me to not be indirecting and hurt his ex girlfriend. Why didn't he remind Vincent and Danial not to indirect me. I kept quiet, not post anything... cause I was GENUINELY HURT. I am his bestfriend? Many times I said, I am "Ridhwan Azman" I wanna leave, I am not like you Jianhao, you have grown, I am stained, with controversies, I don't want to be a burden...  That he thank on a award show.. or maybe to make him look good? I don't recognise my bestfriend anymore. I don't have friends anymore. But it is okay.
I never wanted a war. I still wanna make videos, when I feel like it. At my own pace, for purely passion. I left to lead a simple life. I am fortunate, to have come to this decision, to leave, to finally have more time with mom, not just one or two dinners in a month.. to have a girlfriend who many hates for no reason, just because she is too young or etc.

Fuck it, I live my life. "Attention seeking"? You "angkat" everyone, you tweet shit to get RTs, so do not tell me I am attention seeking. Well, leaving was not to gain more attention... it is to lose the attention... so stop talking as if I need someone to be successful. You guys are here when he is something big, but when he was nothing, where were you? I hope you can find someone better, you will make it. Yup, we were silly making stupid promises, but hey, I kept them. I guess I am the only one keeping them still and you do not have to say anything nice about me anymore.



And please guys.. Being more famous and rich, means successful?? Really?

Don't define success like that.

No better way than to end my 2015 this way. I will never come back. So please, stop commenting shit on my social media posts guys, it hurts me. And if you hate my videos, you can subscribe to Jianhao and unsubscribe to mine. Thanks.





I guess this is goodbye. From strangers, to my bestfriend, to my boss, to strangers again. I do not hate you. You will be the best. Better everyday. All the best.

49 comments:

  1. Well said. Ignore the haters. Wishing you and your girlfriend a happy journey in both relationship and every undertakings! :)

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  2. From single, to married and now with a kid. Thats how i watched your channel grow. Not a young fan but someone who watches youtubers for entertainment.I believe you will make a name for yourself without his wealth. Go for it, adik!

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  3. Hi Ridhwan!
    I hope you will always stay strong and be happy . Ignore those who post hate comments about you online .
    I wish you a Merry Christmas, wish you and your girlfriend well and all be the same old Ridhwan .
    -Kaelyn,13 .

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  4. Hi Ridhwan!
    I hope you will always stay strong and be happy . Ignore those who post hate comments about you online .
    I wish you a Merry Christmas, wish you and your girlfriend well and all be the same old Ridhwan .
    -Kaelyn,13 .

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  6. When you have all these issues of "overworked", "not enough time for family", have you speak or confide to Jianhao about it? If you did not, then it is ALSO your fault. You keep everything to yourself, how would JH and your friends know? And then, when you left, you make everybody confused. If you did not share your problems to them, don't blame them even if they misunderstand you one day.

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    1. Seriously?? Cut Ridhwan some slack,don't act like it's ridhwan fault. Jianhao posted on his insta and all his "fans" started attacking ridhwan without knowing his story. So shut the hell up and don't act like you are right.

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    2. Seriously?? Cut Ridhwan some slack,don't act like it's ridhwan fault. Jianhao posted on his insta and all his "fans" started attacking ridhwan without knowing his story. So shut the hell up and don't act like you are right.

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    3. Don't act like its Jianhao's fault either. Ridhwan posted on his insta first, attacking and defaming his friend. 4 posts at one go, which JH is able to debate back. So take a kit kat.Dont assume you are right.

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    4. Ridhwan is officially the biggest idiot of 2015.

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    5. Don't you have a mirror ay your home ? I believe you will find a bigger idiot !!

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    6. Don't you have a mirror ay your home ? I believe you will find a bigger idiot !!

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  7. He used you to be successful. Now he is #1 on top with all the girls and money. $$$$$$

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  8. When one has money and fame. No matter how good his personality and attitude, one often turns arrogant. I used to think that all popular people have bad personalities, but I came across you and you proved me wrong. I know how the indirect tweets feel like, because I was attacked before. Give it time, people can't insult you forever. They will soon find another prey. All the best. Last long with your girlfriend. Will support you both.

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  10. Omg true!! I remember at 2013 i saw you at dhoby gaut and then I was so excited to take a pic with you. When i asked for a picture with you, jianhao came stood up to take the pic with us as well 😂 lmao, i didnt even know who he was then

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  11. Omg true!! I remember at 2013 i saw you at dhoby gaut and then I was so excited to take a pic with you. When i asked for a picture with you, jianhao came stood up to take the pic with us as well 😂 lmao, i didnt even know who he was then

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  12. im :( losing a best friend is just
    ... terrible , very saddening . well chin up and just continue living life okay

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  13. im :( losing a best friend is just
    ... terrible , very saddening . well chin up and just continue living life okay

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  14. omg ... so lifeless meh? jian hao and u really very fake worh... all of this are like not needed at all.. why so drama?

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  15. Hey Rid.. Ignore the haters yeah? I'm sure there are still people out there supporting you and all true fans will know that your videos are truly out of passion. I'm still here too.. I would honestly never stop supporting you actually because I'm always reminded that the first time I met you, I felt so overjoyed. Never stop what you're doing, but do more of what makes you happy. I hope you'll have a great year ahead, Rid!

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  16. Yeah Rid. The choice u made was right. We can't put work infornt of our family. Work work work we are still humans we need to have a proper sleep and we need love care and all not only work. I am sure the hate comments and all will only be just for now. Don't let those infect u. Sometimes later people will understand u. Ignore the haters

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  17. Yeah Rid. The choice u made was right. We can't put work infornt of our family. Work work work we are still humans we need to have a proper sleep and we need love care and all not only work. I am sure the hate comments and all will only be just for now. Don't let those infect u. Sometimes later people will understand u. Ignore the haters

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  18. Family first bro , ignore the less important aspect of life and carry on with what matters in the long run

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  20. Ridhwan, you are not mature enough. You do not understand that you need MORE than passion in this world. You leave a company, that's good news for me. But you should not go around slandering the company you are in, claim all the credit that you build this company "with your bare hands" when it is a TEAM effort, and condemn your friends for everything. With such immature and ungrateful character of yours, you definitely won't go far in life. But of course, you won't heed. You only want to hear the good things say about you, not the bad things. Anybody like me who criticize you, you will brush off as "haters" to make yourself feel better (as always).

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  21. Ridhwan good luck! May your future route to success be bright! Its a difficult decision but I'm sure its a right one for you. I really hope that your friendship with jianhao would reconcile though, it hurts to lose a friend because I have experienced it before. Friendships last forever, treasure them as much as possible. May god blESS you!

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  22. Ridhwan good luck! May your future route to success be bright! Its a difficult decision but I'm sure its a right one for you. I really hope that your friendship with jianhao would reconcile though, it hurts to lose a friend because I have experienced it before. Friendships last forever, treasure them as much as possible. May god blESS you!

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  23. I think you made a big mistake. But whatever man, your choice. Like your acting, but your editing skills nope.

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  24. Ridwhan you are an absolute and utter idiot

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    Replies
    1. Nice Post. Visit another newssite Bnewsbd.com-
      Letest and Largest bangla online newspaper in Bangladesh.

      Delete
  25. Hey Ridhwann wow i really didnt expect this :( i didnt expect u could say that abt him .. u truly are loyal friend so touched anything stay strong :)) we're here .. we have ur back ;) ignore thm haters they are just seeking attention i totally understand u:) once again stay strong :)) Fighter��

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  26. Hi Ridhwan. I just came from jumping web pages and found your blog. To be honest, you've always seem really happy in videos and I was surprised by the emotional turmoil that you express in your blog posts. Nevertheless, stay strong; not for the world, but for yourself. For your family :) As the saying goes, "setiap sesuatu yang berlaku itu, pasti ada hikmahnya." xx

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  27. To be honest, i had the wrong view. I thought people like you and others of the same caliber are rich, getting sponsorships and leading a dream life. Although you don't ask for sympathy, i feel sorry for you, life has ups and downs. I respect your decision. I hope that you find what you are looking for.

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  28. To be honest, i had the wrong view. I thought people like you and others of the same caliber are rich, getting sponsorships and leading a dream life. Although you don't ask for sympathy, i feel sorry for you, life has ups and downs. I respect your decision. I hope that you find what you are looking for.

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  29. Entire post contradicts itself.
    From it's not about the salary to talking about being underpaid.
    From insulting JH to wishing him all the best at the end.

    Man please make up your mind.

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  30. Dear Ridhwan Azman,
    I have understand your blog but you can make your own company. I know you quit TheJianHaoTanCo, because your mom is sick and you need to take care your siblings. Btw you can continue your video because i like your video and styles. Stay awesome. This is Rushaimi Rifde, Signing off.
    Your sincerely,
    Rushaimi Rifde

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  31. I only see your videos with jianhao. I don't know about you nor have I googled about you. But I wanna share my experience in friendship, as am 10 years older than you.
    My job required me to move every three years, the same thing happened when I was younger due to my parents work. So, I highly value relationship, but unfortunately best friending isn't for me.
    Like every other relationship, being a friend means spending time together, compromise, and putting efforts. In short, it's about giving what you can and accepting whatever returned to you with no complains but yes to discussions.
    Usually when I move to another country, without me realizing, I chose to stop contacting my close friends before. This happened everytime. But Im still that same person who always try to get the attention of my sister and parents. I then realize what I need wasn't the crowd, I just need my family and those who value me. However, I got carried away, which is not good.
    Now that I'm in my 30s, have tons of friends, I realize thay i don't have that same age friend whom I know since I was little. I asked myself: do I have a real best friend? The answer is no, why? Because I chose not to. I regret it but I have to bear the consequences and live with it.
    If I may, I want you to ask yourself: Regardless the good and bad, do you regret being with him for the past years? If the answer is yes, then you should order yourself to not mention anything that has got to do with him. If the answer is no, then you should that to him.
    Moving on is not hard, but when you don't deal with yourself, the scar will make another on others, and worse will make you only remember that you spent so much time with not so important people that brought nothing, useless.
    I personally don't think your economic situation was the main reason you that concluded your decision to leave. However, I hope you can stay true to yourself, and forgive yourself, the past, and those people involved. Stay motivated

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  32. Leaving the company is good but slandering your best friend and ex company is really ungrateful. Don't act pity here. Zzz

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  33. Leaving the company is good but slandering your best friend and ex company is really ungrateful. Don't act pity here. Zzz

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  34. Hi I stumble upon your blog by chance.
    Interesting blog.
    Just want to say :Friendship is over-rated.
    Also you are still very young, still have plenty of chances, so don't burn too many bridges.
    Best of luck,
    ...by the way you have such a cute girl friend ...lol..

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  35. setting up a limited company Awesome and interesting thread. Great things you've always shared with us. Thanks. Just continue composing this kind of post.

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  36. Go forward bro..Keep on going never stop.. The bad will turn into better things. Just believe in Allah :)

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